Oh Sugar

Well its official, Im depressed. I havent worn this much black since my emo days. Its just been a multitude of things and last week I had an uncontrolable crying fit. Which is very unusual for me. I would describe myself as very stoic and composed. I call it the mannequin syndrome, trying to look perfect and fake. I hate letting people know what im feeling, im very guarded and reservered. I dont ever let people see me cry. For one thing I look ugly when I cry and I feel its a sign of weakness. Crying for me is an extremely private moment that I dont ever want to share. But as I was saying these past few months have just been tiring and stressful. It has been a year since the passing of my grandfather who was practically my real father. For those of you who dont know I was raised by my grandparents. So thats really been heavy on my heart. That is really one of the reasons I've neglected to post anything. But im slowly turning things around and I'm working on myslef and getting my life back on track. I have good news, cosmetology school begins in January and all that is left for me to do is go in for my interview. And there will be financial aid if I need it which would be nice. Im really stoked about this, I know im going down the path in life I was meant to travel. Well the other day I hung out with my girls and we ate in Jacques, My Bff, car and talked about some major issues about some former best friends. you know just to clear the air on how we all feel about them, thats another post. Then we went back to Jacques place and watched Glee, The Bad Girls Club Reunion then The Jane Austen Book Club. Which prompted us to start our own book club, our first book is the diary of Anne Frank. Im excited about it, its such a mature and classy thing to be in a book club. Then I left and got home at like 12:30. I was a great night. Nothing makes me happier then spending time with friends. Well that is all for now. I will let you know on school, friends, book club and my emotions in more posts. I look fat in this pis but whatev. Jacque, Her dog Penny and Me!


xoxo
AVS